Today’s Would You Rather places you in the political hot seat. Choose wisely…
Would you rather take a bubble bath with George Bush while discussing the intricacies of the War in Iraq
Would you rather have your legs run over by a tank?
I have officially been 21 years old for two weeks now( why did I decided to write this post after two weeks? Well, it was going to be after one but I got lazy…). So what has happened, now that I’ve reached the age of adulthood?
1. I got into a fight with my roommates, while sober. But I like to think of it as practice for when I’m not sober.
2. I’ve still officially never been drunk for a little over 21 years. I did have a couple of frou-frou drinks( e.g. Smirnoff Green Apple things and Mike’s Hard Lemonade) though.
3. I can own a gun,presumably for when I have fights with my roommates and I’m drunk. Or sober.
4. My humor has become much more macabre. See above.
5. Every ache and pain in my body feels like it needs immediate attention. It’s just practice for this new half of my life where you need to be wary of what happens to your body as you go south.
6. I called the bank and got my overdraft fees removed. Yeah, ’cause I’m just that adult-like!
7. I have decided that I’m definitely not an adult for the following reasons: toilet humor rends me handicapped, people tripping brings me joy, I make ill comments about anyone, I play more video games than I should, and I procrastinate like there’s no tomorrow(which is hard). There’s more, but I’m going to try to keep some of my “dignity.”
8. A couple of days ago, I spelled the word lightning “lightening.” I died a little inside. In my defense, it was on an on-screen keyboard. Come on, those things suck…
9. I know I had one for nine, but…
10. On the same subject, my memory is just not what it used to be. I now fully rely on post-its. EVERYWHERE.
There’s no question today, folks.
In protest to the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect IP Address act, many websites are participating in a blackout.
View a short list of websites that don’t exist for the day here.
The powerful shadows of government have realized that the extent of their rule ends short of the internet. SOPA and PIPA are two acts that will allow US enforcement to work its way on the internet for reasons they deem necessary. Read about it here and come to your own opinions about these two potentially harmful acts. SOPA and PIPA threaten the meaning of the internet, as well as businesses, innovation, internet growth, and more. SOPA and PIPA are a way for the government to get their foot in the door and make a move towards a controlled web.
I believe freedom extends to our fingertips, and allowing this to pass will certainly cause more harm than good.
Exercise your right as an American because the leaders and the led are two groups that should work in tandem.
My mother cannot speak English, but she likes to pretend she can. Every now and then, I catch her attempting to pronounce a word, and most of the time, I can’t even decipher them. Here’s a short list of English words my mother made up. I’ve even taken the liberty of providing examples where these words might be used.
Cross sign = Croissant
ex. Do joo guant a cross sign today?
Seebway = Subway
ex. Seebway no es muy caro.
Nafe = Name
ex. Guat is jour nafe?
Guiriri/Guiree Guiree = Weedeater
ex. Guere is dee guiriri? Necesito cortar la llerba.
Gracie = Crazy
ex. Joo Gracie. Joo bradah Gracie. Joo all Gracie.
French = Friends
ex. Y tu French?
Heather here! This is where I ruin Lissy’s post and add something about my parents. This is only really relevant if you know Denny’s and Wendy’s, I guess.
Mom: We go to Denny’s.
Me: Oh, can I come?
Dad: Okay, pero joo can only habe guan ::holds up 1 finger:: thing because I no habe much ::makes funny gesture that’s supposed to mean money but looks more like his fingers are humping::
Confused me: Okay…
*notices we’re heading to Wendy’s*
Confused me: I thought we were going to Denny’s..
Dad: Yes. ::points in direction of Wendy’s:: Denny’s.
Confused me: Huuuh…..
This week’s exciting Would You Rather takes place in a far away island, where no one could contact you (sounds like a dream…).
Would you rather…
Try to swim back to civilization chased by a dolphin that can’t stop talking about ‘life in the sea’
stay on land trying to find food, followed by a parrot that doesn’t stop insulting you?
No, we’re not really famous. Mostly in my head. But the good news is The Rubbe has been nominated for the Versatile Blogger award! Of course, it goes without saying that we were nominated by an incredibly smart and telling blogger with a knack for copious amounts of innuendo. Don’t believe me? Then run over to A Spoonful of Suga here. You shan’t be disappointed!
In order to be fully initiated, I must go through ritual couchsurfing and must order myself a pizza, which I’ve already gone ahead and done. Also, these rules:
Most of the blogs I follow have already won this prestigious award, so it was very hard to find blogs that also deserve it. But lo and behold! Here they are.
Becoming Cliche A mother’s fearless journey through life, sweaters, and randomness.
Nullam, Potius, Citius, Fortius Random everything, from Michael Buble to Tina Fey, take a stroll through this girl’s head.
Awkward Life in Detail If I wrote about my life, bit by bit, it probably wouldn’t be nearly as funny or entertaining as this. Definitely some life saving tips here.
My Happy Happenings Humor. Food. ‘Nough said.
The Panda Chronicles Oh gawd. Pandas!
The Drunken Warrior Sad poetry. Happy poetry. Weird poetry. Just don’t expect much of that happy stuff.
We’ll be doing a lot less of this…
And a lot more of this.
Happy New Year everyone! Now it’s time to bring the awkward back.
This week’s question:
Would you rather be raped by an army of gummy bears
listen to Rihanna’s single “Umbrella” for 8 consecutive hours?
During the holiday season, traffic tends to be unbearable. We spend hours in bumper to bumper traffic where I suspect, if cars were people, they would be very upset. Now, when I say traffic, I don’t mean just cars. If you live in any of the vacation cities (Miami, New York City, etc) then you get this. We got bikes, we got children, we got pieces of rubber running throughout the roads. It is usually this time of the year where pedestrians get on our nerves. Many of us wish to buy into the impulse and just run them over. Some of us do.
But wait! There’s hope for those pesky pedestrians yet.
Now, I’m sure you know the nod. Yes, the nod. If you’re not an asshole, you’ve too have done the nod. Say, you’re crossing in front of a car that’s about to park. This driver now has to wait for your jolly ass to shimmy across his future parking space, oh, from 30 seconds up to 4 minutes (You know who you are…). However, in your ultimate gift to humanity, as you finally finish taking up the driver’s time, you give them a nod.
It is now that the chaotic universe has been restored to its former glory.
There are those amazing individuals who give the nod right at the start of the process, whereby all annoyance is forgiven. Then there are those unfortunate people who wait until the very last moment to give the nod, thereby filling within the driver a growing hatred for all mankind. I believe these kinds of nodders live on an adrenaline rush. But no worries! As long as the nod is given, your karma will remain in tact.
This morning, one of our very own writers, Heather, became the target of hate and frustration everywhere. Let’s hear her story:
When I was making my way to my job, I had to cross three lanes to get to my lane to turn into the parking lot and I crossed two lanes without problem but then in the third lane, someone snuck up behind me and I almost hit them. So I was like “Oh shit…,” and went to my regular lane, let him pass, and then continued on
my way. Well, I hit a red light and we both were side by side so I was like “Oh god, he’s gonna give me the ‘I hate you look'”, so i quickly looked at him and mouthed “sorry!” and held up my hand in that little wave that people make, haha. So he nodded back at me and we both went our merry way.
Thank you, Heather. What a stand up citizen! You avoided a crash and stopped a man from beating his frustration out on his wife.
Happy New Year!
We’d like to be able to give you a HILARIOUS post, but we’d really just rather get drunk!
And don’t lick the rug!