Category Archives: Dialogue

Spanglish Things My Mother Says

My mother cannot speak English, but she likes to pretend she can. Every now and then, I catch her attempting to pronounce a word, and most of the time, I can’t even decipher them. Here’s a short list of English words my mother made up. I’ve even taken the liberty of providing examples where these words might be used.

Cross sign = Croissant
ex. Do joo guant a cross sign today?

Seebway = Subway
ex. Seebway no es muy caro.

Nafe = Name
ex. Guat is jour nafe?

Guiriri/Guiree Guiree = Weedeater
ex. Guere is dee guiriri? Necesito cortar la llerba.

Gracie = Crazy
ex. Joo Gracie. Joo bradah Gracie. Joo all Gracie.

French = Friends
ex. Y tu French?

Heather here! This is where I ruin Lissy’s post and add something about my parents. This is only really relevant if you know Denny’s and Wendy’s, I guess.
Mom: We go to Denny’s.
Me: Oh, can I come?
Dad: Okay, pero joo can only habe guan ::holds up 1 finger:: thing because I no habe much ::makes funny gesture that’s supposed to mean money but looks more like his fingers are humping::
Confused me: Okay…
*notices we’re heading to Wendy’s*
Confused me: I thought we were going to Denny’s..
Dad: Yes. ::points in direction of Wendy’s:: Denny’s.
Confused me: Huuuh…..

When Heather is on her way to Wendy's, I suspect she dresses like this.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The NingTengdo Gui

My mother approached me this afternoon, leaning on the doorway while I was on the computer. I looked up and she proceeded to tell me a funny story. This is translated from Spanish, except the words that aren’t Spanish, like gui. Those I keep the same.

Mother: Your cousin is getting a gui for Christmas.

Me: A what?

Mother: A gui.

Me: Gui? What’s that?

Mother: Ay, you know. A gui! With the controls that go pio pio and make you move around.

Me: A Wii?

Mother: Yeah, a gui.

Me: No, not a “gui”, a Wii.

Mother: A gui.

Me: Wii.

Mother: Gui!

Me: Wii!

Mother: Gui!

Me: Okay, repeat after me. Woo-ie

Mother: Goo-ie.

Me: No, Wah sound. Wah. Wii.

Mother: Wah….Wah….Gwua…Gui?

Me: Yes, perfect. Gui.

She almost had it at the end there. Somewhere in the middle, she says it all low and relaxed. Gui. My mama, she so funny. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Gui, something like a game console built out of guava pastries. Mmm, guava.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dialogue #1: Dropping the S-Bomb

Dialogue #1: Dropping the S-Bomb

Heather: Wanna read what I have so far? Maybe you can help me fix it. It’s awful

Lissy: Sure

Heather: No. No sure. Yes or no. I don’t like “sures”.

Lissy: Yes.

Heather: They bother me

Lissy: Sure=yes BITCH UMMA GONNA SAY SURE

Heather: It’s kind of like saying Meh…Okay. Sure…Whatever. NO

Lissy: It’s more like…Sure!

Heather:NO YOU’RE NOT! If you meant Sure! –

Lissy: OKAY WOMAN

Heather: You’d write “Sure!” Not…

Lissy: I WANNA READ YOUR DAMN THING

Heather: …sure. FINE. Sure.

Lissy: I didn’t put a period!

Heather: Then…Even…Worse.EVEN WORSE.

Lissy: Oh, gawd…

Tagged , , , ,