Tag Archives: fast food

Spanglish Things My Mother Says

My mother cannot speak English, but she likes to pretend she can. Every now and then, I catch her attempting to pronounce a word, and most of the time, I can’t even decipher them. Here’s a short list of English words my mother made up. I’ve even taken the liberty of providing examples where these words might be used.

Cross sign = Croissant
ex. Do joo guant a cross sign today?

Seebway = Subway
ex. Seebway no es muy caro.

Nafe = Name
ex. Guat is jour nafe?

Guiriri/Guiree Guiree = Weedeater
ex. Guere is dee guiriri? Necesito cortar la llerba.

Gracie = Crazy
ex. Joo Gracie. Joo bradah Gracie. Joo all Gracie.

French = Friends
ex. Y tu French?

Heather here! This is where I ruin Lissy’s post and add something about my parents. This is only really relevant if you know Denny’s and Wendy’s, I guess.
Mom: We go to Denny’s.
Me: Oh, can I come?
Dad: Okay, pero joo can only habe guan ::holds up 1 finger:: thing because I no habe much ::makes funny gesture that’s supposed to mean money but looks more like his fingers are humping::
Confused me: Okay…
*notices we’re heading to Wendy’s*
Confused me: I thought we were going to Denny’s..
Dad: Yes. ::points in direction of Wendy’s:: Denny’s.
Confused me: Huuuh…..

When Heather is on her way to Wendy's, I suspect she dresses like this.

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An Ode to the Surprise Onion Ring in an Order of French Fries

This is for the Onion Ring that was breaded and fried,
And somehow got misplaced in my box of fries.
You made me so happy, you made me so gay,
But how did you end up in my order today?

The cook, ever so generous, slaved in the kitchen.
With food all around, it must have been bitchin!
He worked so fast as he scooped up my fries,
He picked you up too, and it slipped past his eyes

He hands me the bag, Whopper, fries and all,
I reach into it, and time seems to stall.
Because when I look at the fries, what else do I see,
But a single ring in a bed of potatoes staring at me.

You’re so much different from your potato counterparts.
They’re straight and you’re round; that’s a good start.
What can I say but you’re one of a kind,
Especially since you left your onion comrades behind.

You certainly tasted like no other,
Definitely different from your long golden brothers.
And there it is, my great ode to you,
And Hopefully next time, they’ll slip in two.

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