Heather is a turbulent mix of cynicism and pessimism. Her writing tends to revolve around sappy love stories and depressing poems that pull at the heart strings, which is comical considering she’s not a real people person. Her interests include reading, writing, steampunk, and insulting others. She thinks she’s not funny but she’s of the dark humor variety. Chances are, she’s going to hate this biography I wrote about her. Yeah, it’s gonna rub her the wrong way.
With her quick wit and disdain for all things human, Lissy is not really the life of the party. Were it up to her, she’d be the only life at this party. As you spend your days with her, you will be sure to find yourself facepalming along, constantly questioning humanity and how anyone could possibly exist without a savage knife wound to the back. Sometimes you’ll even start to wonder whether her robotic emotions aren’t just a cover for her true purpose: To annihilate all human life. But she’s awesome, so you forget and accept her constant excuses of “Of course that’s not blood dripping down your back.” Or even, “You must have hit yourself with the knife in my hand. It’s all purely coincidental.”
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Gabriel will make you laugh until you’re diagnosed with renal failure. This humorous, sarcastic son-of-a-gun has a partial zest for life, just enough to get out a few good words here and there. As a liberal arts major, Gabriel has no clue what the next chapter of his life has in store. Neither do we. But what we do know is how talented of a comedian he is. Two minutes with this guy is all it takes for a room full of dirty laundry. Those with bladder control issues should continue with caution.